Tuesday, 5 December 2017

Some women are without hymen

We were discussing about females virginity yesterday and someone was like the only way to know if a girl is a virgin or not is that it's a must every girl bleeds during her first sex and am sure majority have same mindset but this is wrong.. Bleeding doesn't determine if a girl is a virgin or  not so I decided to release this article to help educate our young men and women on this issue of girls bleeding during first sex...

THE MYTH ABOUT FEMALE VIRGINITY -why most women won't bleed the first time they have sex.

 There's a very common myth in South and Central Asia (Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Afghanistan etc.) and Africa (Nigeria and many other nations ) that you can tell if a woman is a virgin, by whether or not she bleeds the first time she has sex. There is zero truth in this. Not all women bleed the first time they have sex, as I'll explain in this post. To understand why some women bleed and some don't, it's very important to understand what the hymen is. The hymen is a membrane that tends to cover part of the vaginal opening (it does not always block or cover the entire vagina, as some people mistakenly think). NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE A HYMEN. The hymen also differs from woman to woman - like all women have different heights and weights and features, all women also have different amounts and types of hymen. Some women have thick hymens, some have very thin hymens, and some women have NO hymens at all. Some women have larger hymens, some women naturally have a very little amount of hymen that covers only a small portion of their vaginal opening (and hence does not really get in the way, during first-time sex). In addition to this, the hymen wears away on its own as you grow up. For most women, the hymen wears away on its own with exercise, bicycling, horseback riding -it can wear off with pretty much any other physical activity, even dancing! - or from using tampons when menstruating. Especially if the hymen is very small or thin, most of it tends to wear away on its own as a girl grows up. If a woman is born WITHOUT a hymen, she won't bleed the first time she has sex. If a woman has a small or thin hymen, she might not bleed the first time she has sex. If a woman's hymen has worn away on its own (which is very common as girls grow up), she won't bleed the first time she has sex. The result is that the overwhelming majority -at least 63% of women - will NOT bleed the first time they have sex, according to a study published by the British Medical Journal. Women who do bleed include: - Women with thick hymens (who constitute a small percentage of the population) - Younger girls. Because the hymen wears away on its own with time, a 16-year old has a higher chance of bleeding than a 25-year old. By the time a girl is of or above the legal age of consent - 18, 20, 24 years of age, for example - most of her hymen is likely to have worn away on its own, meaning it's unlikely that she'll bleed a lot, if at all. However, even a young girl can be physically active, have a thin or small hymen, or have no hymen at all, meaning she might not bleed during first-time sex. - Most often, women who bleed tend to be women who are dealt with roughly during sex. If the guy forces himself inside the girl, when she isn't ready, relaxed or aroused enough, he is likely to cause injury or bleeding. Because most people think it's normal for women to bleed the first time they have sex, they don't realize that this bleeding is a result of the woman having been hurt, and not of the hymen 'breaking.' Painful first-time sex is generally because the woman is not relaxed or aroused enough, and gets hurt as a result; it is rarely ever because of the hymen breaking. The bottom line is that there is no way to assess female virginity. Bleeding does not have anything to do with virginity - it has to do with the kind of hymen a girl has, and hymens differ from girl to girl from birth. The result is that only a small percentage of women bleed the first time! (Only 37% bleed during first-time sex, according to the study published in the British Medical Journal.) Why is this so important to be aware of? Women all over the world get abused, injured and even killed due to the myth of 'virgin bleeding.' Because most people (men AND women) think that bleeding is a sign of virginity, women who don't bleed the first time have been divorced, suffered from suspicion leading to domestic violence and abuse, and even killed for honour. Educating people that a girl does not necessarily have to bleed the first time she has sex - because not all girls have thick hymens, and some are born with no hymen at all - is important because it can literally save lives. .

P.S: I understand that not everyone is able to share material like this, even if they want to. However, the only way we can educate people regarding this issue is if it goes into the news feeds of as many people as possible, if as many people as possible read it. So please consider sharing. If you can't share, please like, leave a comment or forward it to your friends. We have to make content like this visible to increase it reach, to educate people and to  have impact on lives.

Dr Oye

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Now You know...



I will marry a VIRGIN....

now you know...

I was so excited, ...my trusted-buddy
Yes I did it!  I made it!  I clang into the air
I rarefied the sly from my childhood days truckers

now you know...

I wailed days and again when they stop stalking me
but I had the confession and bind of mum's
"don't stay close to any man"

now you know

Yeah, I overcame with no levity even
the bully from my adolescenthood mockers
I cried too many times
but clung to dad's
"just make a difference "

now you know

Aha Yes!  I won through this
the hate from my adulthood beef-ers
I whimpered in my reverie
but I was wrapped in clergy's
"marry a virgin "

now you know

Oh! The joy this brings!
Out of my early 20s "intact"
Oh! The pride I feel dries those shimmers of rejections
those oneirisms are in my palms
I have shove the bête noir of my allies

now you know

Alack those days!  I was of little confidence
I'm almost here, not there anymore
The long awaited day blazes in my eyes
I'll shed all that blood for "my beloved "

now you know

I chuckled aloud, uncontrollably giggled and far between tittered
in the strength of my thrill I laid on the shoulder of my "trusted-buddy"

now you know

Phew! I was in cold shoulder
I jolted and searched those happy face of my "trusted-buddy"
I saw less as I looked more
the pale face managed a wry

now you know

Oh golly!  My happy retrospect had turned a noir
What way had this shoulder-lean hurt?
I can't afford to lose my "trusted-buddy"
the friendship meant rapture to me
She laughs when I did
She cries if that's all we could do together

 but.... I want to marry a virgin...
In the pool of my blood I muttered
 ábas my flood of tears I cringed

My "trusted-buddy" held my hands ...
... I was jealous! she yelled in insanity
I couldn't fight the rive
I lost mine over decades in my own escapade
How dare you marry a virgin?
I tried, the broke into tears
I tried to fight that wrath, that hate
That... "oh she feels better than me "
I lost to envy, forgive me!  She wailed

That wasn't for me, was it?
How do forgiveness happen?
When do amnesia remember?
How dare my mind erase this rape?
Rape planned by my "trusted-buddy"

I wanted to marry a virgin, she had me raped, brutally.
She stole the world I have built with diamonds in a flash
I lost it all
Sorry, I'll loose my mind....

now you know


                   A tale of a betrayed friend
                     Written by Elan (G. O)

Friday, 1 September 2017

I knew "Yesterday "


Yesterday, I walked in a path I ought not to
Yesterday, I ran in a lane I do not belong
And of course I got grabbed, 


I got grabbed by uncertainty
Yesterday, I needed approval to do my lot


Yesterday, I searched faces to get a nod
to move on
Yesterday, I was always deserted
Because the accolade I looked forward to never came


Yesterday I followed their routine to do my own thing
But how could I possibly fit into another's shoe though ?


I was almost losing me
I was so blind to see
To see the flaws on those I am making gods
Those I thought are getting the best of life


Yesterday, was my low self esteem
No wonder my shoes hurt that much
I was walking on their shoes
Trying hard to be them


Yesterday was my insecurity
No wonder I wasn't seen, heard nor felt
Too busy to see their hands soiled in loops and holes
See their backs inked in mistakes
And they sit tight on their shame


I forgot I was a muse
I got trodden by their judgement
How can one guilty as I am judge me?
See,  see how I forgot that
I am my own beautiful


Hey you!  I screamed to to awaken my mind
Pick up your whole pieces
And do what you were born for
Dust the haze and shine


You are worth the hazels you build in your dreams
You are worth the medal you want so much
Take yourself along, you are enough


I take for myself my dreams again
Purged my mind, held my eyes up again
AND PUSHED YESTERDAY 


I take for myself my confidence
And I'm up again

Have you pushed your yesterday?

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

Hugs are painful

HUGS ARE TOO PAINFUL, I HATE THEM!

It's end of my first day of school...  Miss Ugo asks us to  hug each other.

I don't like hugs because it is always always painful.  I don't know why we have to hug even in school.  I didn't want to disobey Miss Ugo and become a bad pupil. So  I turned away from the class and began to remove my clothes.
After removing my clothes and also my pants, I looked around for a clean space to lie down.
I found a space, laid down and spread my legs wide open.  I wondered why everyone is taking time to get ready for 'hug'.  Someone has to take the lead I guess.

My teacher didn't look very pleased, judging from her expression...  Some of the kids covered their faces.

"poor kids" I thought, still lying on the floor.

"they don't even know what a hug is" I continued in my head of course.

My teacher is approaching me,  she looks angry now.  I could tell because her cheeks are red. My mum's face is usually that red whenever she is Washing my body and I tell her my "Bum Bum"  Is paining me. So my mum will get angry and her cheeks will turn red, sometimes she will cry and not say anything.

I don't want my teacher to cry, so I got up.  I'm beginning to get worried because I am still the only person who has no clothes on.

I still can't understand why my whole class does not know what a hug is or how to do it.

Well this once, maybe this once I have to believe my daddy.  "This is a special kind of hugs Lucy"  he would say amidst sweats.  "It's only for special girls"  he would continue.

Maybe I really am special.

"Here!  Put on your clothes and follow me" Miss Ugo shrieked angrily.

In our proprietress's  office.  I told "Big mummy" (That's what they told us to call her)  and Miss Ugo how my daddy hugs me every other night.

They were both in tears as I  tell them that, the only part of hugs that I hated the most is when my daddy tries out his fingers one after the other until one fits inside my bumbum.

It's already school over and my daddy will be mad if I don't wait in my class like he had instructed.

Big mummy gives Miss Ugo a look, she picks up her desk phone and dials a number.  Miss Ugo takes me outside and puts her arm around me...  It felt so good.

"That is a hug" Miss Ugo whispers and breaks down in tears again.

"How can this be a hug?  It wasn't painful " I thought.

My daddy is around and Miss Ugo asks him to see Big mummy.  Shortly after,  2 police officers comes in and enters big mummy's office.

I can hear myself talk from big mummy's cell phone.  I sounded so funny, I let out a light chuckle.
The police comes out of big mummy's office with my father. His hands are tied behind his back.  He looks angry.  I know I am in trouble.

We didn't go home.  We went to the hospital in big mummy's car.  Miss Ugo was beside me the whole time until the Doctor asks me to follow him.  He removes my pant,  collects torchlight from the nurse and looks into my bum bum.

  I closed my eyes expecting pains but he doesn't put his fingers inside.  He puts off the light and talks to the nurse who jots down what he said. He helps me wear my pant and takes me back to meet big mummy and miss Ugo.

Back in Big Mummy's car,  miss Ugo calls out our address for Big mummy.

We get to my house and my mum comes out.  She doesn't say anything as usual.  She just brings out a big placard that reads "I AM  DEAF and ALSO DUMB"

Big mummy and miss Ugo started crying again.  I have had enough so I joined them to cry and my mum followed suit.

Let's protect our girl child.
😔😔😔


Thursday, 20 July 2017

Enhancing or embracing

I'm often struck mute so many times because I wrattle with thoughts that ends up a rhetoric.
If  I could write how often they tend to explode my mind, then my book page will be exhausted.
They are often rhetorical and of course they don't need your responses.
I use to know of days when the scriptures where deep and no one dares seek enhance it,  rather embrace it. 
Or do we rather say we are knowledgeable? 
No longer girded with the twist of the truth?
The embracers understood  'if anyone slaps you turn the other.... ' 
Now the enhancers said '...the violent taketh it by force...'
I remember when embracers where different in appearance, at their sights you scream,  oh Christians!
The enhancers will surely had to explain, else you equate them to infidels. 
I remember when embracers where careful of their words. 
Now you gotta avoid the enhancers for their words. 
I remember when there was something special about those who has seen the light and those in gaudy darkness. 
Should we belong to the past for this?